Phineas and Ferb (Uncut, Uncencored, and Unbelievable)
by EverlastingEvanescence
Summary: Just an average day where Candace tries to bust the boys. Basically a parody of an ordinary day for Phineas and Ferb featuring a pissed off Phineas, a crazy...ier Candace, and an exploding EVA.


Phineas and Ferb (Uncut, Uncensored, and Unbelievable)

The quiet, peaceful morning of Danville was broken by the destruction of an abandoned building. Phineas and Ferb woke up groggily and frustrated. Phineas looked at the clock, and saw that it was only 6:02 AM. Phineas and Ferb looked out the window in their room, and saw that their Neon Genesis Evangelion inspired mecha, called an EVA, was outside, destroying things beneath its feet and its lasers.

"That's our EVA isn't it?" Phineas asked, with a glare on his face looking at Ferb, who just shook his head and sighed.

"Yep."

"And that's Candace riding in it isn't it?"

"Yep."

"And we're going to have to go and stop her, aren't we?"

"Yep."

"Goddammit. It's too early in the morning for this," Phineas mumbled before he left the room. "MOM! Start the car! Candace is at it again!" Phineas yelled, waking his parents up, who had the same annoyed looks on their faces that Phineas has.

**In the city…**

Candace Flynn was controlling the EVA, stomping all over the city, causing everything that came into its path. This included buildings, cars, and even people. In fact, if one were to look under the foot of the EVA, they would see blood trails, various body parts, and bent metals.

"HAHAHAHAHA! HOW DO ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE ME NOW!? CALL ME A CRAZY BITCH NOW, FUCKERS!" Candace screamed with a combination of delight and anger, laughing at the pain she was causing all the people who had insulted her and laughed at her whenever she tried to bust her brothers because of…fairness or something. Suddenly, Candace stopped laughing, and looked around her.

"Wait…why did I steal this thing again?" Candace asked herself before hearing a scream coming from a red minivan.

"CANDACE! YOU DUMB BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH OUR EVA!?" Phineas screamed, throwing balls of mud at his robot. Candace looked out of the window of the EVA's eye, and smirked at Phineas and Ferb.

"Thanks a lot for the help, Phineas. Not only did you give me unfettered access to your little robot here, but you finally helped me remember why I took this thing in the first place! You two are so…" Candace responded, before Phineas cut her off.

"Candace, shut the fuck up. If you're trying to get me and Ferb in trouble for no reason again, why the hell are YOU controlling the robot and destroying shit? Literally the only thing you've proven is that you're a fucking moron," Phineas stated, which was met with nods of agreement from Ferb, and Phineas and Candace's parents.

"NO! I'm proving that your inventions are dangerous, and you should be imprisoned for making these inventions!" Candace countered, blowing a raspberry at Phineas.

"You should be imprisoned for being a complete retard. Our inventions are only dangerous if they're put in the wrong hands. For example, if some long necked loser took an invention she had no idea how to use," Phineas countered, rolling his eyes when he saw Candace's fists repeatedly smashing the control panel of the EVA.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M HELPING PEOPLE! YOU TWO ARE DANGEROUS AND EVIL AND DESERVE TO BE BEATEN TO DEATH AND THROWN INTO THE DEAD SEA!" Candace wailed, while she continued to hit the control panel with her fists. However, in the middle of her childish rage, she accidently hit the self destruct button.

"Oh…shit. Well, at least I'll have a minute to escape and…" Candace mumbled to herself, before the entire EVA started exploding. Candace started screaming and flailing her arms around, but was unable to escape the exploding EVA. The Flynn-Fletcher family looked at the exploding EVA with shock and surprise. Phineas, however, looked disinterested and turned back to the minivan.

"Well, that's a tragedy. Come on guys, I want to go home and get some sleep before me and Ferb fix the EVA that Candace ruined," Phineas says in a flat tone, before sitting in the backseat of the minivan. The rest of the Flynn-Fletcher family followed, while the fire department put out the flaming remnant of the EVA and the badly burnt body of Candace Flynn.


End file.
